Gloomy Sunday; the 1st post - Dreams, my Lovers, X factor

Well well well....

Today was almost like a usual Sunday....I woke up to my alarm which I think was too early because I just woke up from a crazy dream...

Strangely in London I don't really dream as many as I used to...maybe it is related to the fact that I am older...I am maybe more stressed and my sleeping pattern....well I don't even have a sleeping pattern...I sleep when I am tired and that's it...which means sometimes only 2-3 hours before I have to wake up and be in the morning rush to run to work.

I remember I had a notebook always under my pillow and anytime I woke up -be it 3 am or 7am - from a dream I had written everything down...later the notebook was replaced by a dictaphone. Where anything i recorded was still transcribed :) to my laptop. These days it is much easier....with just having an iphone where now I could talk or write notes....but for some reason I don't do this anymore... I am procrastinating and always just turn on my other side that I would remember when I wake up....but I never remember...

So today I actually even had 2 dreams....both were a bit crazy and scary...the first one started off as a nice dream....My partner was Rufus Sewell (on the pic), one of my ideal man since I was 14....we were together in the dream and moved to an island into an old house....where there were huge spiders too, of course....and we were woken up by these spiders jumping on us....hmmm not nice not nice.... <-- maybe because a day ago a huge carpet spider freaked me out.

The 2nd dream was with my real family members....there was a divorce last year in one of my cousin's life, where the missuz cheated on him. We are still talking, but I feel a bit uncomfortable with her now....so in the dream I went to sleep at their place - what an odd idea it is now - hmmm even in my dream I was not a good sleeper when she came in the room and poured something on the floor next to my bed, which evaporated into dangerous gases...when I questioned her why she did this....yes the best timing...my alarm was on.

So today my London/Amsterdam lover, Mark, was supposed to come to see me and chill. So I decided that I was going to do a lot today...cooking, epilating, cleaning, doing stuff outside etc etc....but it was raining... my enthusiasm was diminishing, then I decided that okay today is a day for being in bed....I asked Mark if he was eventually coming or not, but He said he could not get out of bed and he needed stop raining....I could not see the relationship between raining and coming to mine...but I was actually happy that he did not come :) I am thinking of ending this thing between us, because what came to my knowledge...mainly that he was trying with other woman....we agreed at the very beginning that I am and he is cool with an open relationship. I just wanted respect and honesty...and if he sees someone I wanted to know about it. Not of course the name of the person etc...I just wanted to know about the existence of someone else...and it seems there is someone else...but I know this not from Mark but from someone else who knows the other person...what a spiderweb...since I don't trust him anymore....and we have not spoken since I made out with my Love...Udo...which was almost 2 months ago.

So after he is not coming....today it was X factor Marathon...I watched the UK and Hungarian X Factors...I had to catch up not only on the episodes from yesterday but from previous weeks as well...

And now I finally sat down to write something to this blog.

Forgive me now for the plainnes and for not having any pictures...I am also working on the layout etc. :)

XoXo

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